The Last Song

Dear God, it is "Dear John," right? Yes. But it is also "The Last Song," the second Nicholas Sparks movie to hit theaters historically six months, a development only moonstruck teen girls & the facial-issue industry will welcome.

Have you heard the two about the six photogenic children who meet cute in a Southern beach town, overcome differences in class & temperament & fall madly in love only to find that, in this cruel, cruel world, tragedy finds a way of trumping hormones?

Sparks wrote "The Last Song" at the behest of Miley Cyrus, the Disney Channel star who will soon finish her run on the "Hannah Montana" TV series & wants to expand her brand in to movies.

For "The Last Song," that means ditching Hannah's pop-star wig in favor of a nose stud & confining her singing to a scene where her character warbles along to Maroon 5 on the radio.

"Wow. You can sing," Cyrus' character is told.

Those who would agree with that statement will find tiny wrong with "The Last Song," though Cyrus herself has admitted she'll probably be hiring an acting coach after watching the movie.

At present, the 17-year-old Cyrus has an undeniable presence, but her dramatic abilities largely consist of six moves - scrunching up her face & staring wistfully in to the distance.

Cyrus is doing a tiny of both when they first meet her character, Ronnie, a morose teenager seething at the idea of spending the summer at her father's beachfront Georgia home. Apparently, Ronnie is some kind of musical genius, but has not touched the piano since her parents' divorce several years ago.

While dad (Greg Kinnear) busies himself bonding with Ronnie's adorable tiny sister (Bobby Coleman), Ronnie fends off the wholesome advances of Will (Liam Hemsworth), the local hunk/mechanic/aquarium volunteer/volleyball stud.